Things I Lied about during Pregnancy

Pregnancy is serious business. In what feels like an instant, you become 100% responsible for growing and nurturing another human being. That's a hell of a lot of pressure if you ask me...

Then, for the next nine months (we all know it's actually ten months, but whatever) you are peppered with questions and interrogated about all the things that you're doing or not doing... Totally stressful...

So, naturally, when I was pregnant I may or may not have embellished a bit when asked about certain things that I was doing during pregnancy. While I definitely wouldn't advise lying on a regular basis, a little truth stretching to spare yourself more crap is totally worth it. Sorry not sorry.

Here are a few of the things that I lied about during pregnancy:

1. Not Caring about the Baby's Gender

Everyone says it. "I don't care if it's a boy or girl as long as he or she is healthy..." And I know that deep down it's the truth. We all want our babies to be healthy. But come on.... Every single one of us has a tiny preference one way or the other. I wanted a girl SO badly. So, so badly. I thought for sure Olivia was going to be a boy just for the mere fact that I wanted a girl so badly. When we finally did find out that she was a girl, I was ecstatic. And if she would have been a boy, I still would've been trilled, obviously, but, finding out that I was creating a future diva set my world on fire...

2. That I took birthing classes

Every single prenatal appointment was the same. "Have you traveled anywhere outside the US?", Belly measurements, heartbeat, blood pressure, and "have you taken any birthing classes yet?". Every single time. No doctor, I honestly didn't even realize that birthing classes were still a thing. Isn't that what doctor Google and YouTube are for?! And if I'm being honest, the main reason I didn't take any classes is because part of me didn't wanna know! Ignorance is bliss! I was already scared shitless, why make it worse by learning exactly what's about to happen to me?!? No thank you. Every time I told my doctor that I took a class, it was a big fat lie.

3. My weight gain

The person I lied to about my pregnancy weight gain was myself. Looking back at photos makes me cringe. I gained 85 pounds during my pregnancy, and I told myself the whole time that it was normal, and that it was what happened to everyone, but that was a load of bullsh*t. I ate HORRENDOUSLY during pregnancy. Every night was a game of what fast food was a craving roulette. Thinking about it as I write this gives me a stomachache. Now that I emerged from my state of denial and lost nearly 100 pounds, I will never treat my body that poorly again, pregnant or not. Don't lie to yourself! Make positive choices during pregnancy. Eat a cheese burger if you want to, just not nightly...

4. My stress level

Cooking a bun in your oven is stressful... Pair that with an already obnoxiously stressful and dramatic life, and it is a recipe for a nervous breakdown... I was very stressed throughout my pregnancy. I had a lot of external factors effecting me, so much so, that at one point I even worried if it was effecting my baby. Luckily everything turned out, but if you have more stress than you think you can handle, tell someone about it!

5. My baby names

I was a paranoid freak during pregnancy... Okay, I'm always a paranoid freak, but while pregnant it's even worse! I was CERTAIN that if I told someone the baby names that I had picked out, they would steal them... I kept my baby names secret better than I've ever kept any secret in my life... I even gave people fake name choices just so I wouldn't have to tell them that I didn't want to say... Why am I such a weirdo?!?

What are some of the lies you told during pregnancy?