My Child is Developing Bad Habits & I'm The Culprit

I think I've made a terrible mistake...A mistake that I don't quite know how to correct..

Before I dive right in, I feel the need to state that I never in my wildest dreams would have thought that I'd be the Mom who harbors her child's bad habits. Moreover, I never would have thought that I'd be the one creating those bad habits...Great, another thing for me to have extreme Mom guilt and anxiety over, sweet...

Lately, I've had this deep-seated sense of dread over the fact that my kiddo seems to be growing up faster than ever before. It seems like every single day I wake up to my child learning all these new things and her personality has started growing and developing at warp speed. She is turning into a feisty adult in a toddler's body, I swear! I feel like I can't even blink, let alone take a breath. Every day is an opportunity to miss something. Every day a chapter from her toddler life closes, and a new chapter of childhood begins. It feels like there is a shot clock ticking away on my heart. Every second that ticks down is a second that I will never get back. (ugh, the feels. All the feels.)

With all that being said, one can imagine that I've been a freaking basket case for the last few weeks. My Mom world has been shaken to its very core, and I think it's safe to say that I've gone soft. As much as it pains me to admit, my once firm Mothering hand has weakened, my "scary Mom voice" is non-existent, and my threats of time-outs and punishments are empty. As a result of my weakened Mom powers, I've resorted to saying yes...A lot... Too much...For things, I should NOT say yes for...

Let me set my current scene:

It is 8:51 PM on a Friday. Bedtime for my kiddo is usually right around 8 PM. Once the clock strikes 8:15 PM, I am living my best life, by myself, and catching up on all the things I can't do with my kid hanging around. I LIVE for that time after 8 PM. I look forward to that time. I need that time... But about a week ago, my little one had trouble getting to sleep. She kept waking up crying. After the 3rd or 4th time of waking up, I was over it, and I invited her to get into bed with me. (SPOILER ALERT: HUGE MISTAKE. HUGE) I thought nothing of it at the time, but I should've known that my fate was sealed at that moment. I have to say though, having my snuggly toddler in bed with me was surprisingly amazing. Actually, it was more than amazing...So much more... I felt so connected to her. She was so happy to just be with me. She kept saying, "Mama, I love you so much."

But it didn't stop there...

The next night my kiddo again came into my room. I started to say no, but she begged me to let her lay with me. Her little toddler tears gave me a real run for my money. How could I possibly say no? I mean, what damage could one more night do? Right?

Wrong. So, So wrong...

My husband warned me. He could see it. He knew I was already sucked in. I was sipping my toddler's Kool-Aid, and I just couldn't get enough. I still can't get enough. I needed more snuggles, More "Mama, I love you's", more hand-holding. I just keep telling myself that I need to take it all in now because my days are numbered. One day she won't want me. One day she won't need me. How could I live with myself knowing that I didn't take full advantage of these moments? Especially once this time in our life is over.

So here we are, one week later, and my child has slept in bed with me every night. EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. A few of those nights, my husband couldn't even sleep with us because my toddler was sprawled out across the entire bed...

Now don't get me wrong, I am still weirdly obsessed with my kid cuddling the night away with me, but I do also recognize that this new ritual is not sustainable. Especially for my poor husband, who has literally been evicted from his own bed... (sorry babe!) But how do I go about breaking this new habit without feeling like I'm pulling the plug on our special bonding time? How do I redirect my kiddo in a way that doesn't feel like a punishment for her? I need to get her comfortable being in her bed alone. I know that. I know that...

But how?